When I introduced My Main Date to My Hot Date

Dating can be nerve-wracking at any age. But dating with a young child is especially difficult. To add to it, dating with a son who has never had to share you is a challenge I will say that I was not ready for. I am still stumbling through life trying to see around corners and anticipate outcomes before they happen. I have learned that I need to relax and give Jesus the wheel.  Although my desire is to be married and have a larger family.....the journey has been much more than I bargained for, hence the need for prayer. My hot date and I have both learned a few things through this process.

Only introduce your children when both you and the person you are dating are ready. I will say that I wasn't as ready for my hot date to meet my main date as he was. I was apprehensive and nervous. I had never introduced my son to a man I was dating before. I think that I over thought the situation and made myself much more nervous that I needed to be. My son has met plenty of men in his lifetime at church and school and this wouldn't be much different.

Do not assume your children understand. When I first tried to explain dating to my son, it was a disaster. Of course I thought it went well until the next day in the car. He had an emotional out burst because he did not understand that I was not replacing his father. At this point I felt it was wise to include his father so that we could both reassure our son. This may not work in all situations but it has worked well for us and set firmer boundaries for my son's father.


Let your children ask questions. I have told my son over and over again that he is allowed to ask me anything. When he clams up and is quiet during a discussion I stop what I am doing and get down to his level so he can see my eyes and understand that I am his Mom and that will never change. This is normally the reassurance that he needs and then he launches into a new set of questions. "will I date one day?", "who will I date?" I am thrilled that we are having these open conversations.


Never stop having conversations....I am communicator, actually I am a talker and I have given birth to talker. So for us talking is not a -problem. I do not have to create moments but I do have to remember to stop and take time to effectively communicate. If he wants to talk about oranges I as the parent need to be mindful not to launch into a conversation about apple sauce. I think we all get hung up in our own world and we forget that we are supposed to teach our children.

Have fun dates where the children are included....My son has time with me alone, with his father alone, with his father and I and now with my main date and I. Needless to say my son is overjoyed each time he gets to spend time with the people that he loves. It is a challenge to make sure each adult gets equal time with him but for now it is working out well.

These are not absolutes but merely guides. Until next time remember to enjoy your children and love them in whatever stage you are in. Until