Training and Raising a Man

This happened a few nights ago at bed time......

Mitchell, “Mommy I love you so much, I love you more than anybody in the world....(long pause) except God.

Me, “I love you too Poo and you are supposed to love God more than me-he is our Father and our everything”

Mitchell snuggled closer and gave me a kiss and one of his sweet smiles

Mitchell and Nina playing 

I can say that I have always wanted a child like Mitchell but did not always know it. He is sweet, kind affectionate, loving, caring, inquisitive and talkative. Oh boy, that last part sometimes sends me over the edge but if I can reign that in---watch out world! There is no telling what he can do, sky's the limit. 

Now that I know I want this child what do I do with it all? How do I train him to be a good man? How do I accentuate his positive qualities and camouflage the negative ones? 
Do I enlist the help of my family, friends and the church or leave it all to chance? So many questions run through my mind and have run through my mind since the day I knew I was having a boy.

Lala and Mitchell reading in bed

Most important question, how do I train him to be a man?

1. First and foremost I am his mother and not his father. I am not be a substitute for his Dad but I can place good men in his path that will influence him in a positive way.
2. Second, I am not in control and I need to be reminded of that often. As a single mom and maybe this is just who I am, I hold onto the reigns so tight and refuse to let go in some instances. But for the sake of my son, I have learned to to let go. 
3. I have learned to accept help from other men. In my family, in my church and in my life. 
4. When friends from church wanted to teach Mitchell golf, I said yes. I know more than the game he will be around another father and son and learn how those relationships work.
5. Before he becomes a teen I need to find a male mentor for him or he may do that himself. 
6. Before he becomes a teen he needs to learn to respect authority. I think that all boys challenge authority or would like to. I can see that now
7. I do treat him like a boy but not like a little boy anymore. I have pet names but they are more grown up and I don't use them in public. 
8. I let him fail and get back up and try again. Make sure he is not a quitter. 
9. I do teach him to play fair. We play games a lot  at home and it is imperative that he learn the rules and follow them even at this young age. 
10. Sports is a good way to learn to get along and communicate with others. 

These are not absolutes but guides. As your son's grow out of boyhood to man hood prepare yourself and them for the future. If we don't like men who cannot take responsibility and are babies and blame everyone for their shortcomings, why would the next woman. Raise a man someone wants to marry one day. Love your children at every stage. Feel free to leave a comment. And until our next hot date......