When does the affection stop?

Last night my hot date was in his pajamas sitting in my lap eating skittles. I am thrilled he isn’t asking me questions about this episode of Transformers Prime and we are watching quietly He has even offered me a few skittles which is rare; he doesn’t normally share skittles, twizzlers or popcorn. I must be turning into one of his favorite girls. I hope I always stay a favorite girl but one day I know he will grow up and leave me. Sniff, sniff

I am enjoying this sweet time while I have it.

Before my sweet guy was born I knew that I wanted an affectionate child, boy or girl. I was a nanny when I was in my early 20’s and was pleasantly surprised at the actions of the middle daughter, Sarah. She gave me hell at first and then became so attached to me. She wanted to do everything I was doing. Her older sister, Liz used to tell her mother and I all the time she wanted to be a D.I.N.K. = dual income no kids. She used to crack us up! But the Sarah would pip up and say “I want to be a housewife like Hilarie.” I taught her to cook, iron, grocery shop, clean closets and plan parties. She and I had lots of fun together. She would run up and hug me and had spontaneous “I love you’s”. She had a profound effect on me. She and I would plan days out and have tea and dessert and then go have manicures. Their mom thought it was such a great idea that I started days alone with all the children doing what they wanted. We all loved it……and of course it was fun, I wasn’t a mom yet? LOL

Thinking of them all and Mitchell leads me to the questions, when do children stop being affectionate if ever?

My son was been cuddler since he got here! As a baby he nestled his head on my shoulder, drew his feet up into a ball and would just coo. When I placed Mitchell in my sweet friend, Shara’s arms at 4 months, he did the same thing. It was amazing to watch! He enjoyed and still enjoys being held and hugged. I cuddle with him often and even tease him by asking him where is my “baby” ……he smiles up and me and say’s “Mom, I am still here, I just grew.”

I have to give credit where it is due….his father is a baby whispered and held him often. He still hugs and kisses him each time they see each other.

I know the day will come when he isn’t interested. Most of his friends his age don’t like hugs and kisses from Mom in public but he still doesn’t seem to mind. Praise God!

Oh how I pray the transition will be gradual and not overnight but there are no guarantees so here is how I am allowing him to be a big boy that also snuggles and loves his Mama:

1. I praise him for making progress. Last week it was “Mommy is so glad you are big enough to help in the grocery store.”
2. I hug when I praise and ask for a kiss. I don’t automatically assume he will want to give one, so I ask.
3. I require him to give all ladies hugs. It is super cute to see him shyly walk up to Auntie Shara and give her a hug and she comments on his good hugs as well.
4. All men get handshakes (except Big Homey) and then he can give his “HARD” high fives….this kid is gonna be strong. His smile and enthusiasm are infectious.
5. He asks me can he come and snuggle with me in my bed and I give him time limits so he won’t try to stay all night (the boy is a wild, wild sleeper)
6. He now asks me can we snuggle in his bed after prayer time and then tells me after 4 minutes that I can go. First time it happened, I will admit I cried.
7. I don’t call him by pet names in public anymore. I use things like “Big Guy. Champ and Buddy.”
8. I work hard not to embarrass him in public by being too affectionate…I let him set the pace.

Father and Son

Now Mitchell is not a perfect child and I am by no means a perfect mother. But these are things that have worked for us over time. I must acknowledge that I talk to my Mommy friends that have children older than Mitchell and seek their advice on certain things. Then if it needs to be modified for a one parent home I do that. Children are just so precious and their childhood is so short. My mother and rest of the family minus my father gave my sister and me a stellar childhood by accident.

I want to give Mitchell a stellar childhood on purpose.

Enjoy your children as they mature. Find something to love about every stage.

Please feel free to leave comments or questions, until our next date have a good one!