A friend of mine works at an elementary charter school in HISD as a principal. One the things the school is working on is open communication between students and faculty. So at lunch they are asked questions with the expectation that the children would converse with each other and staff. So I got excited and waited for her to tell me more. I looked at her and she was choked up to the point of not being able to speak. I waited patiently as she fought to hold her tears back. She said the children were silent because they had never been asked about themselves at home or in school before and did not quite know what to make of the exercise. In the end she and I realized how blessed we were as mothers with our own children but our hearts broke for these children.
Communication and learning to do so is vitally important for our children. Especially in the technology age where it is so easy to stick them in front of a TV, video game or the computer. Talking and asking questions requires some effort and we have to sacrifice to make time for them. I know I get in the car and get on the phone because its my time to yap and my son can play on his tablet. But I have learned that I need to connect with him for about 10 minutes before he can play his tablet. So we chat for about ten minutes every day.
Here are some ways to increase communication with your children.
1. Use your time in the car wisely. If you are like me and need to make business calls on the run. Take 10 minutes with your children first to ask them about their day.
2. Use the dinner table wisely. Ask your children specific questions and give them a chance to answer. A friend of mine plays a game at dinner and the children pick questions from a stack she has created. They each have to answer each question and it gets conversation going.
3. Encourage your children to talk to one another.
4. If you attend church services ask them what they learned about God in their Sunday school classes.
5. Be mindful of the TV shows, commercials are terrible all day now, and what they are watching.
6. Really listen to the radio and see if it is age appropriate for your children.
7. Discuss major holidays and/or events. My son knows the President is up for re-election and we have discussed the process at length and will continue to.
8. Ask them about their favorite sport and/or activity.
9. Just talk to them, don't be so concerned what the topic is as long as they are talking.
10. Encourage questions.
These are not absolutes but guides. Learn to enjoy your children at every stage, they are only young once. Feel free to leave a comment and until our next hot date, have a good one.
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