Legacy of Grandparents

My hot date gets so excited when we talk about traveling to Maryland to see family. He starts chatting about what he will do with Uncle Mike and how he misses Uncle Kenny and his cousin Nina. His excitement is contagious and I love to see how jazzed he is about the trips. 

Mitchell and Nina playing crochet in their pj's

My mother and my son

Little does he know that close to 35 years ago his Aunt Jill and I would be just as excited to go and see our cousin Mike and our Aunts and Uncles. We have since lost many family members we used to visit and miss them dearly. In fact my hot date is named after my Great Uncle Mitchell. Family is so important to us all. 

When I was 14 my grandmother suffered a major stroke and was just being moved to an assisted living facility in Columbia, MD near her only son (My Uncle Kenny). My sister and I were due to arrive in Maryland any day and I remember being anxious to see her. Little did I know what life would be like after the stroke. My Aunt drove me to her place and I asked to be left there to spend time with my grandmother. I did not leave for the rest of the summer. 

I cooked, cleaned, washed, grocery shopped and administered medication to my Grandmother during that summer. I was caught driving by My Uncle and took on many other adult responsibilities, not because I had to but because I wanted to. My grandmother meant the world to me. She came home to Texas with us that August and stayed until the spring of the following year. 

Mitchell loving on his Lala

I watched my mother turn into the parent and my grandmother take on the role of being cared for like a child. It was difficult for them both but a part of life. My Grandmother passed when I was 21 after a few more strokes and complications from those strokes. I still feel that void in my life but she left me with some valuable knowledge that I did not understand at the time but I do know. 

1. She knew her time was limited and began to impart wisdom
2. She taught me to cook, not just to cook but how to get an entire meal on table and have everything hot and fresh.
3. She taught me diplomacy and tact. 
4. She taught me how to deal with difficult personalities.
5. She taught me when to stand up and fight and when to give in.
6. She taught me to stand up straight and be regal.
7. She let me talk to her about my fears and anxieties.
8. She taught me the true meaning of hospitality.
9. She taught me that you can age and still have dignity.
10. She taught me how to treat my elders.

It has been over 20 years and I still miss her like she passed yesterday. I am no longer afraid of losing loved ones but it still stings. I tell you all this because tomorrow is not promised and to make the most of today. Tell people you care about that you love them. Write stuff down or start telling your family history to someone. But most of all be mindful of the legacy you want to leave your children and family and work at it. 

Until our next hot date, enjoy your children at every stage. Find things to compliment them on but teach them also that failure is a part of life and let them fail.