Handling Difficult Situations/Questions

My son knows some physically challenged people, one is a child and the other a playmates father. He knows I have a friend who's daughter is always having surgery or being tested because she was born with a defective heart. This week we prayed for the successful removal of a cyst from another playmates throat. That playmate is home and is doing well.


But as a parent what do you do when these issues hit home and you have to explain complicated issues to your child or children? If you are a Christian, how does your answer differ? How much do you tell?

Mason's Star Wars Party

These are all very important questions and need real answers. I am no expert but I believe in giving children information that their brains can handle. If my son were 17 I would of course give him more detail and more technical terms that he could look up on the Internet. But since he is 6 and was younger than that when some of these questions came, I give him simple answers and I only answer what he asks. I don't launch into a long conversation or explanation.  As a christian I try my best to also give a "God" answer. My answer is always more than, "Jesus loves us or God is in control", I work in scripture as well. I learned quite a bit from my days as a nanny....I really was paying attention.


When I was 26 and a nanny, the youngest, Robert (5) came home from school and asked his mother and I what "gay" was. We looked at each other not wanting to say a word and he sat down at the kitchen table with his snack and waited for one of us to speak. She took a very deep breath and sat down next to him and proceeded to launched into this lengthy explanation of "gay". I held my breath as she spoke, taking mental note of his confused expression and her too long and way too informative speech (TMI). LOL! After she finished she took another deep breath, I think because it was over and asked him did he understand? He got off his chair and in his sweet little voice and said "Oh, I thought it meant happy." and left the room. She and I stared at each other for a very while before laughing out loud.


Mason, Andrew & Mitchell-buddies since preschool

When faced with challenging questions or situations here is what I do:
1. I don't assume anything
2. I pray for guidance and the right words. Sometimes I have to tell Mitchell, Mommy needs to a minute to pray.
3. I ask Mitchell how much he knows or what he thinks.
4. I give the simplest explanation possible----"Mommy where do babies come from?" "From Mommy's tummy." That is all he needed when he asked at 3, the conversations have evolved sine then.
5. I follow with a biblical principle---"God wants us to have families"
6. I ask him did my answer help him understand---I use this for 5 and over, under 5 you can see if they understood or not in their little faces.
7. I tell him he can always ask me questions.
8. I praise him for being such a smart child for asking.
9. I praise him for being a good listener.
10. We pray, pray, pray!

These are not absolutes but guides.  And your list may be different and that's OK. As single parents we need be prepared to answer our children's questions. As a christian woman it is also my job to teach biblical principles in my home. I study God's word and seek guidance for myself and my child.  

Enjoy your children as they mature. Find something to love about every stage.

Please feel free to leave comments or questions, until our next date have a good one!

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